I couldn’t even find a title for this one. And all day, I didn’t know where to start. It is like I’m at the finish line, and I’m panting real hard, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or wrap my flag around my shoulders as the snapshots rain. I don’t know.
I just know that this was a challenge for me. Not like it was a challenge (read difficult), no. I mean I took it on as a blogging challenge although if I were a regular blogger I would just take it as an opportunity to explore my strengths. So yes, I said it. I am a newbie. I sucked some days, and some other days I sucked just a little. It wasn’t easy at all.
But I’m glad you guys put up with all of it.
Tonight I just wanted to be at the finish line and tell you I had a very daring week. Because otherwise, today my muse is on leave and I also want to reward myself by making a really short congratulatory post to myself. If I’d remembered earlier in the day, I’d get myself a muffin. It’s my feel good food.
I haven’t managed to read the other blog posts, but I have all week to read them, and I will most certainly share my favorites :-). Special thanks to the initiator of the blog week – bless your soul. They sort of woke me up. Thanks again to myself for taking on the challenge. It has been most beneficial to me than anyone else I could think of. Even i, didn’t know I could say (write) certain things. But there you have it. I did. Thanks to those that gave the comments. You have no idea how much you have contributed to the growth of this country just by doing that; I deeply appreciate!
I’ll be back, just maybe not everyday of the week. But I’m most definitely here to stay.
Thanks for hanging out, It’s been real.
Dear Person of mine,
I was staring at you the other day. Your eyes shone like they were bedazzled with tiny little diamonds. They were lovingly bright, and yet strong and firm; I felt safer than Obama. And then you smiled. Your teeth were so perfect, I don’t think I want to smile ever again because I wouldn’t make any sense. But in that moment, you looked extraordinary.
I was transfixed. I could have stayed there, in that seat all my life but then we’d starve. So then we took a walk to find some good food, and you took my hand in yours; I thought the world should end already. What more did I want? Or rather need? No…I sure need a few more things, but I got all I wanted. And all i wanted was right there taking a firm grip of my little hand. You didn’t let my hand go when we had to walk either side of a huge manhole because I had absent mindedly decided to go the other side. I thought that was really sweet.
We found some good food, and even you, felt that those chairs were uncomfortably far from each other. The table was large. So you moved yours close to mine. Close enough for us to touch shoulders each time we laughed as we shared a pizza. I caught you staring a few times, with a little smirk on your lips and I didn’t want to ask what you were thinking because it was your moment, in your mind, and I wanted it kept there for you.
We got up and left to God knows where (at that time) because we just wanted to keep walking. You could not say that goodbyes and see you laters were not your best parts of our days, but I could see it. So I let you keep taking me to God knows where. And when one rugged man tried to grab my arm, you dangerously glared at him so hard it made me smile. When usually that situation would get me raging mad. You wanted to take the long way to my taxis because it just wasn’t the time to part yet. But part we did, and I sat next to the window and watched you wait for the taxi to set off. It finally did, and you kept looking, as we sped into the distance.
I love that you are who you are. I love that you are a person of mine.
Till I see you.
Yours to keep,
Person of yours.
It’s like a big mahogany door,
That shuts bang in your face
And says you can’t get in.
Sorry you have no pass key.
It deems you unworthy of the carpet
The woolen carpet there in
That your sore feet could rest upon.
A haven for your blistered soles.
So it drags you back to that darkness,
Of a dungeon devoid of expression
Cold and lifeless
Of a path of the past.
A rocky path you know all too well,
That trod your feet sore
So down drops your laden body
You shall tarry there a while.
Time check 23:06 hrs (the time of writing – or should i call it drafting – the blog post). It is because i usually write down in my notebook before i type it out. I just don’t know how to let go of my book. I thought i was alone until another blogger tweeted about the old school style; i forgot his handle, i wish i could mention. But i digress…
I feel nice. Nice for example sitting at the kitchen bar all by myself at 11 pm with just two dim lights making it cozy enough for mind travelling; and also the feeling of having of having the entire living room behind me all to myself. It feels nice. it feels free, it feels awesome and almost refreshingly better than a warm bath on a cold day because my days (and home) involve 5 other people who either get me too excited for myself, or too angry to live. So you understand now when i say i feel so good i could sing so loud, but then i might wake the party.
The point is my dream came true. Not about being a loner, but about being able to be alone whenever the heck i want. For someone like me it is not easy getting here, no, not at all. I thank Jesus everyday. So i’m at the kitchen bar, propped up on this high seat or stool, simanyi. On my right is an empty glass of water (do you see that madness? Empty glass of water??) It is a glass that i just used to drink water, and it is now empty (i am sure there’s a shorter version on how to say all that). And further next to the wall is a solar/electric lamp that i have not dared to use because i just haven’t. On the other side is an empty plate of food <– I did it again. It is the plate i just used for supper and it is wiped clean; i never finish a plate of food, let alone leave no crumbs but because after my experience across seas, i learned that you only take what you will finish and better still, you take less than you need so you are sure of finishing your food and then you are able to figure out if you can take another helping. However, back here, if not at home, it is really embarrassing to take a second helping; you will either appear like you just fell from Mars, or you will be the talk of your circles for the better part of the next few months be it jokingly or worse. You just never know when and how the teasing starts.
Every two or so minutes when i take a break to think of the next better line i can add to this post, i rest my chin in my palm and my elbow supports the weight as i crane my neck towards the dim light from the bulb just above my head. It’s as though the thoughts are travelling through the light and i can read them. But also because, like the previous post, this one, and the next ones to come this week, i have no idea what to write about. I just felt good, that’s all. I am also just a bit proud of myself for getting back to what i had left for cobwebs and possibly death. And i hope i can have actual inspiration on stories to write about to keep this place breathing and dusted; most bloggers and or writers do (have inspiration), not like the lot of me who just write fwaa.
This moment though… This moment is mine.