I’m Still 20-something Years Old!

There’s a speech people normally give/write before, during or after their birthdays.

This is the one. After.

Birthdays used to be a time to live and laugh with family and friends. The only thing that overwhelmed you was the love and awkward hugs. Now at a time as this, birthdays are the days when the internet does the overwhelming. The vibrations won’t stop, the notifications are raging with a fury for days, you just might take your phone swimming. But then you remember the economy and decide against it.

You even come back to respond to the HBDs after 3 days because it feels like that email you have waited for a year; it has come, and now you have to wait 3 days to stabilise your palpitations for yays or nays before you read it. Your heart’s basically on a trampoline, and you have to divide attention between the mu device, and the real issues in the world right now. Like poor education and hunger.

Well, The birthday situation isn’t THAT dramatic. But the notifications are overwhelming. And in a good way too.

Iss all goooood in this life *cues in music 🎶 Photo by Ninno Jack Jr.

Everyone is really good to you, you can’t believe those magical words are about you. At some point you go like staahhpp. Not in modesty, but like…”you have lied, my guy 😂 😂”. Enough not to let them off, because… when else will you get complimented at 200%?

It was a rather bittersweet day for me. I shall save you the details, but I did some pretty interesting things like the once in a lifetime opportunity to pop a whole boiled egg into my mouth, and just working it all out in one go. It is the best feeling in the world. Also because I couldn’t remember the last time I ate a boiled egg. You need to try it. Everyone should. I don’t care what you say in my comment section, but as long as you love eggs or just eat them, you will still go and try this in discretion. Remember to tell me your experience after that. For follow up. It’s about that age where every little success is recorded.

Hola mi amigos! I’m 20 something and no one’s counting! 😉 Photo by @mudo_eve

But in short, I came to say thank you so much for the beautiful wishes of life and health. I say Amen to that. To thank Ninno and Jessica Layado for being real embodiments of God’s love. Hi Faith Liam, for like the finest coincidence of this universe. Also, there’s more to life. While you’re in the wilderness, you can still smile, jump and do that baddd move all in one go, and suddenly everyone forgets you’re in the middle of nowhere and at the near end of your road. See how hope is seemingly to the rest of the world but yourself? That right there, is living; and when you live, you hope. Errbody wins! God still reigns!

Smile. Jump. Pose. Photo by Ninno Jack Jr.
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Of Sad Stories II

So I have been reading. In the post about book tags, one question asked which of the two kinds I preferred; sad books or happy books (I forget how exactly the question was phrased, but y’all get the idea). Of course I said I love reading books that make me cry. Books that could even make me cry so hard even if that was what I was doing all day… crying so hard, in this case, just means when tears roll down my face with not so much of an effort to  stop or hide them. My point here is I am not wailing, weeping, or even sobbing…my face is just leaking.

Mable of the sweet growing pains heard my plea and emailed different collections of over 30 books, it was extreme excitement, thanks Mable.

Growing up, I was, and still is, a happy person. In some conversations (normally with new people) I’d be smiling all through uncontrollably. To laugh is not a hard job for me; just throw in the slightest joke and I’d be laughing so hard. Real life jokes…not comedy shows or TV whatever(s). They’re funny, but it’s not too real except for the few times when I can’t really help it, hehe… I have a big laugh, and it can be really loud sometimes; I basically laugh with everything I’ve got, it’s infectious.

The only people I ever hang around, are happy people and it’s not that they don’t have problems… they do, a closet full. But it seems to me that they like to each deal with them in their own way inspite of your probing. So I thought I would go on a quest, to find out how other people dealt with sadness because the truth of the matter is that I didn’t know how, given that I had a baggage of damage on my shoulders. It was instead translating into anger over a period of time. I feel like I am telling you too much of myself already.

Anyway since I loved to read, I soon realised that between the funny and sad books, the latter seemed to dig into me more. I need you to remember they’re not entirely sad, some of them have endings that are too good to be true, and you only realise what’s going on after you discover your wet face. I find out that crying was to me some kind of anti-depressant, a stress reliever.  I often felt a lot better after I let a few tears roll out between deep breaths; although I am aware that this can be very much the opposite for a lot of other people.

its-okay-to-cry-the-sky-does-it-too-quote-1

I found the realness of life, in the sense that I no longer had to brush things off because I wanted to stay cheered up. I could actually give myself a minute to tear up and acknowledge my thorns. So I fell in love with sad stories, movies too sometimes because they taught me how to cry. And when someone has pissed me the heck off, the anger seeps out all my energy I can hardly speak; at that point, I learnt that all I have to do is let some tears fall while the anger rafts along them.