Time check 23:06 hrs (the time of writing – or should i call it drafting – the blog post). It is because i usually write down in my notebook before i type it out. I just don’t know how to let go of my book. I thought i was alone until another blogger tweeted about the old school style; i forgot his handle, i wish i could mention. But i digress…
I feel nice. Nice for example sitting at the kitchen bar all by myself at 11 pm with just two dim lights making it cozy enough for mind travelling; and also the feeling of having of having the entire living room behind me all to myself. It feels nice. it feels free, it feels awesome and almost refreshingly better than a warm bath on a cold day because my days (and home) involve 5 other people who either get me too excited for myself, or too angry to live. So you understand now when i say i feel so good i could sing so loud, but then i might wake the party.
The point is my dream came true. Not about being a loner, but about being able to be alone whenever the heck i want. For someone like me it is not easy getting here, no, not at all. I thank Jesus everyday. So i’m at the kitchen bar, propped up on this high seat or stool, simanyi. On my right is an empty glass of water (do you see that madness? Empty glass of water??) It is a glass that i just used to drink water, and it is now empty (i am sure there’s a shorter version on how to say all that). And further next to the wall is a solar/electric lamp that i have not dared to use because i just haven’t. On the other side is an empty plate of food <– I did it again. It is the plate i just used for supper and it is wiped clean; i never finish a plate of food, let alone leave no crumbs but because after my experience across seas, i learned that you only take what you will finish and better still, you take less than you need so you are sure of finishing your food and then you are able to figure out if you can take another helping. However, back here, if not at home, it is really embarrassing to take a second helping; you will either appear like you just fell from Mars, or you will be the talk of your circles for the better part of the next few months be it jokingly or worse. You just never know when and how the teasing starts.
Every two or so minutes when i take a break to think of the next better line i can add to this post, i rest my chin in my palm and my elbow supports the weight as i crane my neck towards the dim light from the bulb just above my head. It’s as though the thoughts are travelling through the light and i can read them. But also because, like the previous post, this one, and the next ones to come this week, i have no idea what to write about. I just felt good, that’s all. I am also just a bit proud of myself for getting back to what i had left for cobwebs and possibly death. And i hope i can have actual inspiration on stories to write about to keep this place breathing and dusted; most bloggers and or writers do (have inspiration), not like the lot of me who just write fwaa.
This moment though… This moment is mine.